Sunday 29 October 2017

10 Mums You'll Meet at the School Gate

I survived my first term at being a school mum. I'm not gonna lie the first day was awful after a nasty encounter with a fellow mum. People tell you about the different types of mums at the school gate and I honestly thought it was a load of bulls**t but actually they are there.

1) The Super Involved Mum
There she is, super chatty, super smily and she can make you sign up to volunteer for the next disco or fair quicker than you can run out of those school gates. She's the first one baking cakes and she's always on the school trips. She's on first term names with the teachers and of course she is on the PTA. Watch out for over use of the phrase 'for the good of the school'.

2) The Always Late Mum
I'm sure we've all been late, in fact I'm normally sprinting to the gates at least once a week. However, there's always that one mum who arrives after the bell rings looking red faced, stressed and harassed. You always see her after you've dropped your kids off and you're half way home. When it comes to picking up, she has always just 'lost track of time'.

3) The Fitness Mum
There she is in her gym gear shoving that peachy, pert bum in your face (yes we're jealous).   With a book bag in one hand and a water bottle in the other, she looks incredible and manages to make you feel like shit. How does this woman get to the gym every single day??? You're left drooling thinking 'I wish I could be her, perhaps I should go to the gym everyday!'. Haha.

4) The 4x4 Mum
Watch out for the 4x4 mum, she'll run you over if you get in her way. In fact, she's parked her car right outside the school on the double yellow, no parking zone, just because she can. She's in the wrong but no one dares to tell her.

5) The Dad Mum
Who's that I hear you say? Well it's actually a Dad. Yep there are dads there too but they'll have a whole blog post of their own.

6) The Fashionista Mum
There's always one mum who walks through the gates looking like she's on a catwalk. Not a pair of trainers in site and sunglasses glued to her forehead all year round. How does she manage to scrub up that well and still arrive on time looking so glamorous?

7) The Multiple Mum
How does this mum do it? She has a buggy, a lively toddler in tow and a few kids of various ages at the school. She is rocking motherhood whilst the rest of us can barely get one child ready.

8) The Wing It Mum
This one comes to school in her pyjama bottoms with not a care in the world. She'll have a messy bun on her head, no make up on and she couldn't give a t*ss. 

9) The Mean Girls Mum
Yep there's one bitch that still think she's in high school. She's a sour faced, nasty piece of work. Looks down on you, gossips about you and goes out of her way to make you feel like a piece of crap. Grow up!

10) The Super Mum
Oh to be the super mum. The one that looks good, has the kids' lunches ready in perfect boxes, the children look immaculate, she knits, she crafts, she works, she's super organised and man do you just want to be her. The homework is always done above and beyond expectation and she never forgets anything. She's like a walking calendar. 

Now i've written this in more of a piss take of myself as quite frankly, I could be any one of these mums depending on the mood i'm in when I wake up in the morning. I'm on the PTA, I have a 4x4, I go to the gym and quite often i'm late. The moral of the story is never judge a book by its cover. You are all mums after all and who knows you may end up having a blossoming friendship with the mum you feared the most.



  1. This is bloody brilliant and SO accurate! I will be standing at the school gates on Monday assessing and putting the mums into their respective categories lol xx

  2. This is hilarious. I’m trying to work out which one I am. Probably the wing it mum! 🙈

  3. hehhe love it !!! i am the messy bun wing it mum minus the pjs ;)

  4. Love it! I am not sure which I am to be honest. I often wear my gym gear, but I am certainly not a toned gym mum lol x

  5. Oh yes. I've met the lot. Thank god I can just drop mine off and leg it now they're a bit older. Stay strong and if necessary take a hipflask x

  6. I am totally the wing it mum, and the always late mum! With my gaggle of kids in tow I am always legging it for the school gates!

  7. Laughing out loud..They all do exist. I wonder which one I am xxx

  8. I would like to be the multiple mum! Lol but I never have it all under control and I only have two x

  9. I'd like to be a mix of 7 and 8... I'm multiple mum in the sense I have 5 children (12, 8, 3, 2 and 6m). I don't quite manage as well as I'd like to but I also don't give a t*ss. Haha!


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