Kerry Louise Norris: Pregnancy

Sunday, 20 December 2015

My birth story: 2nd time around

I left my labour story at the part where I'd just found out I had to have a cesarean. I'm not sure if you know but my day job is an operating department practitioner. This means that I work in an operating theatre. My job role is to 'scrub' in an operation whereby I assist the surgeon. One thing I've always found working in healthcare is that when it comes to us being patient's, we make the worst possible ones. I think this is because we know too much and can't shut off.

When I was transferred onto the operating table, it all felt very surreal. As the team introduced themselves to me, I felt like I was at the wrong side of the table and that I should be the one preparing all the instruments and doing my checks. I found it incredibly difficult to try and blank out what was happening. My consultant was also someone who I work with regularly. Even though I trust him with my life, it was extremely strange seeing him operating without me assisting him. I was incredibly lucky that he was actually the consultant on call the day I was in labour. A twist of fate in my favour perhaps.

Once the cesarean begin, I felt extremely uncomfortable. It wasn't that I felt any pain but it was an epidural anaesthetic so you can feel pushing and pulling etc. Again that didn't bother me but the feeling of discomfort came more from knowing exactly what they were doing so in a sense I felt the knife cut and every other action. I knew what they were doing step by step and I hated it.

Ophelia was delivered safely and I couldn't wait to have a cuddle. She weighed 7lb 11.5 and she had more hair than I expected. I felt a huge weight come off my shoulders and I cried tears of joy and relief. Hubby had lots of cuddles as I was shaking quite vigorously from the anaesthetic.

I was so engrossed in my new baby that I hadn't noticed how much time had passed. I suddenly tuned back in to the operation and was able to hear from the whispers that something was wrong. I hadn't felt them start stitching me up. My heart sank.

My consultant decided to be honest with me (as he knew he couldn't hide anything from me as I've got too much knowledge). They thought that I had a hole in my bladder and that my placenta was completely stuck down, they were struggling to get it out. It had pulled my bladder very high up. They performed a dye test to check for holes and thankfully it was fine (my urine was blue all day then lol). The placenta took a long time to come out and I must admit I found that slightly painful as they were really giving it a good pull. I could see the consultant and registrar putting all their effort in. It looked like a tug of war!

My scar is very small. Smaller than I ever imagined it would be. I was stitched up so I don't have to have any clips removed.

It's been 4 weeks since the delivery and I am now able to look at all the positives. For a while I felt quite upset about the birth because I really didn't like being a patient and I hated the whole experience. However, when I reflect on it now, I become very emotional. I am so overwhelmed and I feel very lucky and privileged to have had someone I know deliver my baby into the world. The fact that a consultant who I work with all the time delivered Ophelia, makes it all the more special.

I think the fact that I didn't write a birth plan has helped me to come to terms with my labour and birth. All I knew is that I wanted my baby in the safest way and at the time, a cesarean was needed.

The next part of my labour and birth story will be all about the aftermath. We had to stay in hospital for 6 days in total. Keep your eyes peeled for that installment.

Post Natal

17 comments

Saturday, 5 December 2015

My labour story: 2nd time around

I've decided to write my labour and birth story in a couple of posts or you'll end up feeling like you've read a mini novel.

All through my pregnancy I was hoping that I was going to have a very different experience than my first labour, birth and post partum. I had a long, slow labour and I then had a horrific delivery and was severely infected after having Eva which led to me needing an operation later on to fix up the mess.

Whilst pregnant with Ophelia I remained very positive about what the birth would be like and I had envisioned a different experience to last time. How wrong was I?!

I started having contractions early Friday morning when I was term + 8 days. They were about 10 minutes apart and were painful but manageable. I was actually looking after Eva at the time so I couldn't make too much of a fuss about them as I thought i'd frighten her. I thought having her around would be a bad thing but to be honest it was a welcome distraction. I think I was able to deal with everything a lot stronger than I would have done if I was on my own. From about 6pm that evening they became a lot more intense. I dealt with them with paracetamol's and soaking in the bath for what felt like hours (it actually was). I also projectile vomited whilst in the bath. Labour is so glamorous isn't it. I got out of the bath at about 2am and suddenly the contractions became a lot quicker. They were now minutes apart. I decided it was time to go to the hospital. We called my next door neighbour in to babysit Eva until my dad could arrive. The drive to the hospital was horrible. The sleet was extremely heavy which made the journey seem endless.

The midwife examined me and said I was only 3cm and my waters hadn't broken. I couldn't believe it. It was so painful and I was gutted and gobsmacked to find that I was only 3cm. We discussed pain relief and in the end I opted for an epidural as I was so tired and thought that things would take forever seeing as I wasn't very far dilated.

Next the anaesthetist came to put the epidural in. The midwife then examined me once again but this time I was 7cm. Once again I was gutted as I'd have never had the epidural if I'd have known things were gonna progress that quickly in the space of half an hour. I suppose no one can predict these things though. My waters then broke but came out in a membrane sack. Everyone seemed postive that the baby was going to arrive imminently or within the couple of hours......

The minutes went by, the hours went by. I was examined many times and was still 7cm. At about 10am my consultant popped in. I was so relieved to see him and couldn't have been more pleased that he was on call the weekend I was in labour. He decided to give me something to help contract my uterus. We waited 2 hours to see if that worked. On re - examination I was still 7cm and the head was now not far enough down. The baby started to become distressed so my consultant called it a day and we agreed on a cesarean. I was quite upset about it at the time and I think that was because I had been in labour for so long that I felt like a failure in the end. However, I knew it was the safest option for both baby and I. That's where I will leave this part of my birth story and continue it in a separate blog post.

How have your labour's differed or were they the same? I wished this time around that I was going to be one of these people that have no contractions, your waters break and then everything starts but annoyingly I had a very similar labour to last time.

Pregnancy

16 comments

Sunday, 15 November 2015

Bump Watch - Week 40

Week - 40 and 3 days. I knew i'd be late! I don't mind but when everyone else due after me has their babies then I get grumpy.

Baby Developments - There's not really anything I can say here as baby is fully developed. All I can say is that she's cosy. I do worry though as the longer she stays in there, the heavier and longer she becomes!!!!! Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Bump - Bump is still looking great. No stretch marks but quite veiny. I'm really pleased that i've managed to carry everything all at the front. It is pretty big now but hey that's understandable when you're overdue.

My symptoms - Where shall I start. I pee every 15 minutes probably including at night time. I don't get any sleep due to the frequent trips to the bathroom and the sheer uncomfortableness. She seems to love turning around which is so painful. The braxton hicks contractions I get are very sore to say the least. I do not remember having them like this last time.

Cravings - I'm still enjoying ice-cubes daily! I had a huge craving for madagascan vanilla though this week so I ended up by the ice-cream and normal cream.

Aversions - No aversions at all.

Exercise - Don't be daft! Getting out of bed is all the exercise I need for the day.

Baby items purchased - At last we finally bought some things. We got a snuzpod which arrived today and I also went shopping to the Jojo Maman Bebe christmas event. They were doing a lucky dip at the till where you win 10, 20 or 50% off your purchases and I got 50. Wahoo. I bought bump 3 new baby grows including a christmas one.

Best moments this week - On my due date the hubby and I went to a cooking class that was taken by a chef that we both like called Omar Allibhoy. He's a spanish chef and we have his cookbook at home. It was blogging event which I was unsure whether I'd get to but luckily I did. It was fab and we both had a great time and learnt quite a lot.

Worst moment this week - Knowing at least 3 people who are due after me and they have all had their babies. :(

What i'm looking forward to - Hopefully feeling a bit more organised. I still don't feel ready.

How Eva is feeling - Eva keeps saying that her sister is coming out soon. I hope she's right.

Pregnancy

25 comments

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Pregnancy style - Look 6

This will hopefully be my last pregnancy style post. With 2 days until baby is due I'm not planning on buying anymore clothes until my bump has disappeared.

A few weeks ago I was faced with a fashion dilemma. I had a party to go to and guess what I had nothing to wear whilst I was so heavily pregnant. I really didn't want to buy a maternity dress as I knew I wouldn't get that much usage out of it. I contemplated buying a breastfeeding dress but seeing as I'm not sure what dress size I'm going to be I didn't want to waste my money on something that may only fit me for a few weeks.

I decided to head into town and have a nose to see if I could find anything suitable. I knew I didn't want to spend a lot of money so I headed straight for Primark. It's one of my favourite go to shops for something cheap, that's fashionable.

I found a couple of dresses to try which was great. I fell in love with this gorgeous black laced dress. The style of it is very me, so I was really hoping it would fit. I grabbed it in a size 8 in the hope that perhaps I could squeeze myself into it and therefore still be able to wear it after I have had the baby.

Luckily enough due to the boho styling of the dress, I actually got into the size 8. I couldn't believe my luck. I had found a dress I actually liked, was comfortable in and I knew I could still wear it after the baby was born. I can't remember exactly how much it was but it was definitely less than £20. I've already worn it 3 times so I am getting my money's worth.

The style of the dress is perfect for this winter season. With regards to fashion it ticks all the boxes as it's, black, lace and has the boho/70's styling to it. It's a great staple piece for your wardrobe as it'll go with so many things. I wore it with a pair of slouchy black calf length boots. You can't see them very well as i'm at the stage where my bump takes up most of the room in a picture! You could wear a different colour pair of shoes or boots to add a pop of colour and to make the dress more evening/occasionwear then don't wear any tights.

I wanted to share this look with you to highlight the fact that just because your pregnant you don't have to wear maternity clothes all the time. I think we tend to fall in a trap of always getting maternity clothes as we feel that we need them when it's better to try and find things that you will be able to wear again. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of maternity clothes as I find them so comfortable but it is wasteful when you are only wearing them for a short period of time.

Pregnancy

15 comments

Bravado Yoga Nursing Bra Review

I was recently sent a Bravado Yoga Nursing Bra to review. I'm not nursing yet (as the baby hasn't arrived) but for now i'm reviewing it as a maternity bra as it can be worn before hand. I've never tried a Bravado bra before so I was looking forward to testing it out.

The bra comes in 2 colours, pink and grey. It makes a nice change from the usual black or white you see in sports/nursing bras. It costs £34 which is about what I would expect to pay for a decent nursing bra. It's available in sizes small to extra large and there is a size chart available on the website to help with sizing.

The bra is designed to fit into an active mums everyday lifestyle. It can be worn during low impact training such as yoga, pilates and walking or as an everyday nursing essential bra. It has some special features such as, anti-microbial technology which prevents the growth of odour (which causes bacteria). This is a great support feature for working out. It also has a 4 way stretch fabric which moulds to your ever changing shape! This again is great as you can change size quite often whilst you are breastfeeding.

The bra also has removable pad inserts. I think these are a good idea as they give extra support for when you wear breast pads. Breast pads always make a strange shape in your bra but with these moulds already in the bra, you can't tell that you have any on. The straps have an easy unclip feature to allow for discreet nursing and if you wish the cup can come fully down for skin to skin contact.

The bra itself is actually prettier than I expected it to be. I'm always put off by sports bras and nursing bras as they are normally fairly plain and unflattering.

One feature is that you can adapt the straps so that it can either be worn as a normal bra or in a criss cross shape at the back to go underneath sports tops. This makes it a very versatile bra as you could use it for everyday wear as-well as for when you are working out.

I've found this bra to be extremely comfortable. In fact, I hardly feel like I'm wearing one. It is definitely the most comfortable one I've owned. It feels very light when it's on which will be great for when my milk comes in.

Even though I don't feel like I'm wearing a bra it is very supportive. I'll be honest and say I haven't exercised whilst wearing it but in my everyday life where I'm running around after my toddler, I feel very secure in it. It fits well under my clothes and you can't notice it through tops etc.

Overall, I'm really pleased with it. I think it looks good, is comfortable to wear and is very practical too. I am looking forward to using it for low impact sports once the baby is born.

You can buy the bra here for £34, Bravado yoga bra.

Have you bought a Bravado bra before?

Pregnancy

11 comments

Sunday, 8 November 2015

Bump Watch - Week 39

Week - 39 + 3 days. This may well be my last bump update. We'll just have to wait and see when she decides to arrive. I am thinking I'm going to go over my due date now.

Baby developments - Bump is now the size of a watermelon. How big is that!!!! It's crazy to think there is something that big in my belly.

My Bump - I'm at the stage where I can't seem to notice the bump growing anymore but people tell me it is. Still no stretch marks though which is amazing. It's definetley dropped.

My Symptoms - I am having tightenings/braxton hicks all the time and they are quite painful. I don't remember them being like this last time. I spend most of my time searching for the nearest toilet as all I want to do is empty my bladder. Sleeping ah night is pretty minimal. If I lie on my side, my bump hurts. If I lie on my back, my bump and back hurts. It's really a no win situation!

Cravings - I'm still munching on ice cubes every day.

Aversions - I've still not had any aversions to anything specific although I seem to not be able to eat much. It's almost as if I've gone off food.

Exercise - Chasing Eva everywhere is about as much as I can handle now.

Baby items purchased - Nothing this week.

Best moment this week - Having the feeling of relief at the bump dropping. My chest is so much more comfortable now.

Worst moment this week - The tightenings. Some times they are so bad I feel like I'm going into labour.

What i'm looking forward to - Not being pregnant anymore and being able to wear normal clothes. My wadrobe is now rotated between about 5 things but I am not buying anything else as I have hardly any time left.

How Eva is feeling - Eva talks about her sister all the time but honestly I still don't think she fully understands that a baby will be coming to the house.

Pregnancy

13 comments

Sunday, 1 November 2015

Pregnancy thoughts and emotions - Inside Out

As my pregnancy draws to a close, I've been reflecting on how it has gone and how I've been feeling. It got me thinking about my hormones and how they've toyed with my thoughts and emotions and how much of a nightmare they really are. It's been a roller coaster of highs and lows and ups and downs. There's been days when I've been excited and happy and then there's been days when I've been angry and ridiculously unhappy. Whilst talking to the hubby about it, I started laughing as it reminded me a lot of the Disney film 'Inside Out' and how at times, we have no control over how we think or feel.

Joy - This is the first emotion I felt when finding out I was pregnant. I couldn't have been happier. I was excited! You couldn't stop me smiling. I also felt a lot of joy when telling people I was pregnant. It's such nice news to share with people. I felt it at the scans i've had. I then felt it quite a lot during the second trimester when I had more energy and generally felt pretty good. I've experienced it when seeing my daughter talking about her sister. The smallest of things make me cry with joy and happiness. But needless to say when there are ups...then come the downs.

Sadness - This emotion is non stop during pregnancy. One minute your happy as Larry and the next you are breaking down in tears of sadness and more often than not you have no idea why. It's totally uncontrollable and you feel helpless and pathetic. I have probably cried at least 5 days of the week since being pregnant. The smallest of things make me sad such as being too tired to play with my daughter, not having any ice cubes ready (to curb my cravings), not having a cuddle from my husband. The list is endless. I have felt sorry for my hubby and daughter as they try and cheer me up when i'm sad but they can't.

Fear - There is so much to fear during your pregnancy. In the first trimester you fear losing the baby and you fear pregnancy side effects. The rest of it is then spent fearing child birth etc. For me personally, I have a massive fear of child birth again. I had such a horrible experience of it before that I fear the same will happen again. This is one emotion I can't seem to shake off. I also fear that I won't be able to be a good mum to 2 children. I fear I will lose my best friend bond with my daughter. I fear that I will let her down as I can't be there enough for her when the new baby arrives. I fear not being able to afford to be on maternity leave with 2 children. I also fear stupid, small things like the food shop! Overtime I come to do it, I worry about going into labour or how am I gonna carry everything! I've made a mental note to start online shopping from now on.

Anger - Now this is a funny emotion. You don't think you'd ever be angry during such a wonderful time but when volcano Kerry erupts, I sure erupt and as with sadness, most of the time I have no rational reason as to why I am angry. The hubby and my daughter have taken the hit of most of this emotion which then makes me angry at myself. I feel like I don't have any patience and completely lose my rag with them at the smallest of things. I then hate myself for making them upset. When my daughter looks at me when i've shouted at her, I completely melt and sadness and disgust kick in.

Disgust - As I just mentioned disgust normally kicks in immediately after anger or sadness. I end up feeling like the smallest person on earth (i'm only 5 foot anyway lol). I feel like the worst person on earth. The worst mother on earth. The worst wife on earth. I look at myself in the mirror and i'm disgusted at myself and the behaviour I have shown. I question how I could upset my daughter over nothing! That then leads to questioning how I'm going to cope with 2 children and guess what I then end up sad and in deep fear and the whole circle of emotions start again.

I've wrote this post and likened it to 'Inside Out' to try and highlight to myself and anyone else that we really don't have any control over how we think and feel during pregnancy. Those 5 little characters are up inside our head, toying with everything. We can't beat ourselves up over how we think, feel or behave, it's just a fact of life. We're all good parents no matter what we think and we're not alone in feeling so pants.

Pregnancy

15 comments

Tuesday, 27 October 2015

Bump Watch - Week 37

Week - 37

Baby developments - Baby is now pretty much fully developed as she is now considered full term. Baby is now in the engaged position, so is ready to go.

My bump - I'm pretty pleased with how my bump is looking. I have hardly any stretch marks at all and I seem to be carrying weight all in my front. It's completely different to how I looked at this point with Eva.

My symptoms - Where do I start!!? I've had two bleeds but thankfully both myself and baby are fine. I am having the most hideous braxton hicks contractions, all the time and I have such an intense pressure lower down constantly. I don't remember suffering this much with Eva. When I move positions I now hear all my bones clicking and i'm super, duper, tired!

Movements - These are very intense now and can sometimes be quite painful. I guess this is because there's not a lot of room left in there now.

Cravings - I'm still loving ice cubes!

Aversions - I haven't had any aversions to anything.

Exercise - Other than walking the dog and chasing after Eva, I can't say i've done much else. I just haven't had the energy.

Baby items purchased - No baby items bought this week. I have to say we are very unprepared and disorganised this time around.

Best moment this week - Getting another scan was the best moment this week. I had to have one because of the bleed but Arwyn and Eva came with me and it was lovely to see the baby this late on.

Worst moment this week - Having to go to hospital and stay there for pretty much 2 days. They let me home in the evenings. I'm hoping the next time I go in, it will be to actually have the baby.

What i'm looking forward to - Feeling organised and prepared, which we aren't at the moment. We can't decide on a name, the nursery still hasn't been started and I haven't washed any of babies clothes!

How Eva is feeling - Eva talks about her sister a lot but I honestly still don't think she has any idea of what is actually coming. Her world is going to be turned upside down. She has a new baby doll recently which she seemed to think was her sister.

Pregnancy

5 comments

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

What's in our caboodle hospital bag

I have finally got around to packing a hospital bag. Luckily we were sent a gorgeous one from Caboodle to use. The bag comes with a large changing mat, insulated bottle holder and a spare grabby bag that would be useful for creams and medicines.

I love the bag for more than one reason. The first is the size of it. It's actually big enough to carry everything you need in it and it'll also be more than big enough for when I need to use it after the baby is born. It'll be big enough to put all the babies things and some spare things for Eva in it too.

The pockets inside are also great. They are actually placed in such a position that you can actually use them without taking space away from the bottom of the bag. By that I mean normally when you use side pockets they tend to restrict the room at the bottom of the bag. This doesn't happen with the caboodle.

One of the best features of the bag is that it's wipeable. This is a genius, very practical idea for a hospital/change bag. They always get dirty as you carry them everywhere and use them so much.

I also like the fact that the bag isn't heavy. It's lightweight and even when you pack it full of all your essentials, it still doesn't feel ridiculously heavy like most change bags do. The bag comes in a few different prints and is great value for money. To view the bags click here, Caboodle bags

Here's what I've packed. I've probably forgotten loads of things so please leave me a comment if you think I've missed anything out:

For me:.
Big granny knickers
Nursing nightwear
Slippers
A birthing nighty
Swim tankini for the birthing pool
A towel
Maternity pads
Breast pads
Nipple cream
Shampoo/conditioner
Shower gel
Dry shampoo
Toothbrush and toothpaste
Comfy clothes to travel home in
Nursing bra
Hair bobble

For baby:
Vests
Sleepsuits
Hat
Socks
Cardigan
Nappies
Wipes

Coming home outfit

For me and hubby:
Snacks
Drinks
Phone chargers
Camera
Ipad

What do you think of the caboodle bag. Have I missed anything out of the bag?

Pregnancy

13 comments

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

To write a birth plan or not

I am now a couple of days off being 36 weeks pregnant and it may alarm a lot of you that I have not written a birth plan. The problem is I am in 2 minds about it all.

I had a pretty terrible birth last time and again I hadn't written a birth plan. Some people may argue this is exactly why I need to write one this time, but I think the fact that I didn't have one written, meant that I actually didn't feel let down or gutted that I didn't have the experience I wanted.

Due to the horrific birth I had last time, I am now consultant led. I have discussed the birth with him but I am going into it with an open mind. I have expressed that I would like to be in a birthing pool as long as possible but that is all i've said. In fact we're not even writing it down anywhere as I don't want to be disappointed if I can't go in it when the time comes.

I can see the pro's of physically writing down a birth plan. It'll help the midwife's know exactly what preferences you have for the whole time you are in labour and afterwards. It'll help me feel more in control of the whole experience and it would help keep me focused. I can write down what positions I want to be in, thoughts on pain relief, how exactly I want to birth etc! However, the way I see it is that it may not go according to plan.

I think the experience I had last time along with the fact that I work in healthcare (actually in an operating theatre) means that I know too much information. I'm never sure whether my healthcare knowledge is a good thing or a bad thing. I think the problem is I know what can go wrong, how quickly it can go wrong and when it's going wrong. There was no fooling me last time. I know why alarms are going off etc. I also think that my background allows me to put every faith into any decision a consultant will make and therefore that is why I don't want a birth plan set in stone. If they tell me to do something i'm not going to be silly and ignore it, i'm going to do it.

I am obviously hoping for a nice birth this time and despite what i've written, I am fairly positive that this will happen this time around. I am very open minded. I will be a lot stronger in myself last time and as far as i'm concerned I have no plan other than to go with the flow and do what is needed at the time. I am not against having anything or doing anything. What will be, will be.

Did you write a birth plan? If so did it all go the way you had planned it? Would you suggest that I wrote a few things down or not?

Pregnancy

11 comments

Monday, 28 September 2015

You know you're in the 3rd trimester when

I thought i'd write a little post about the 3rd trimester of pregnancy. The home stretch of what seems to be the longest time ever!!! So here area list of 10 things. You know you're in the 3rd trimester when...

1) You drop something on the floor and stare at it for about a minute before deciding stuff it, it really wasn't that important anyway!

2) Getting out of bed involves determination, focus and a countdown from 3 to 1. It then involves a lot of twisting, rolling and all around general moaning and anger.

3) You count down how many shifts you have left in work by the day and hour.

4) You run yourself an amazing deep, relaxing bath and then when it comes to getting out a feeling of doom impedes you. You have no idea how you are going to get your whale like self out of the bath. The water starts spilling out from the sides, you slip, you try endlessly and you become tired. You lie there and think there are only 2 options available. You either drown or you wait to give birth. Anyway, you're allowed to give birth in water. It would be like having the baby in a very small birthing pool.

5) When someone says 'are you still pregnant?' you drift off into a wonderful daydream where punching them in the face is completely acceptable behaviour.

6) When wearing slip on shoes or boots become the only footwear option available to you.

7) You wake up one day and realise that you have ballooned over night and swelled up to the point where you can't get any of your rings off your fingers.

8) You worry about sitting down anywhere for fear of never getting back up again.

9) You haven't exercised at all during pregnancy but when you're on the home stretch, you become an Olympic champion at walking and bouncing on exercise balls. Anything to get that baby out!

10) You go out and the first thing you need to locate is the toilet. This also becomes the last place you locate too.

Pregnancy

17 comments

Monday, 21 September 2015

Bump watch - Week 32

Week - 32. I haven't written an update in weeks, so I am very sorry about that!

Baby developments - Baby is now the size of a honeydew melon and should weigh around 4 pounds. Baby now has toenails, fingernails and hair (although mine probably won't). I didn't have any hair and neither did Eva. The skin is becoming smooth and soft and she gains a lot of weight each week (as do I).

My bump - It is safe to say my bump is now huge. I do think it's still mainly all at the front but I am now walking like a penguin and struggling to bend down. Stretch marks are still ok. No new ones as yet and I've been using a cream that seems to be making the ones I had less visible.

My symptoms - I had routine bloods taken at 28 weeks. My iron levels are severely low so I am now on iron tablets to help increase them and eating a lot of kale etc. I'm annoyed as i've been telling my midwife for weeks about how tired i've been feeling and how I've been feeling faint at work but she didn't bother to check me out properly. At least I now know why i've been feeling so lousy these last few weeks.

Movements - Bump now seems to have regular patterns of movement. I feel a lot more of her moving around as opposed to kicks. I'm just enjoying it all while I can as there'll be hardly any room for her to move soon.

Cravings - I finally got a proper pregnancy craving. I have to have this all the time, at least once a day. I am completely and utterly addicted to ice cubes. I love everything about them. Just the thought of them is making my mouth water.

Aversions - No real aversions, but I am not getting on with my iron tablets. They make me wretch and feel sick all the time.

Exercise - I was asked to review an online pregnancy pilates programme which I have been doing. For me it's more stretching though than exercise. I've increased the amount of walking I do too.

Baby items purchased - Still not a great deal of things bought. I'm starting to panic slightly as we are so disorganised and we do have quite a few things to get. I did buy a pack of newborn nappies though this week.

Best moment this week - Baby seems to have had a lot of hiccups this week, It's the funniest feeling. I love it.

Worst moment this week - I'm really not sleeping very well now due to how much I get up and go to the toilet. Lack of sleep has definitely been the worst problem this week.

What i'm looking forward to - Getting the nursery finished. (We haven't even started). We've been so disorganised. We had ever intention to get ourselves more prepared and ready but life has just gotten in the way.

How Eva is feeling - Eva talks about her sister a lot. She interacts with the bump too which is great. We try and keep her involves as much as we can. We've been asking what she would like to call her sister but the answer we have had is just sister lol.

Pregnancy

5 comments

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Pregnancy Style - Look 5

Last weekend we were invited to a christening. I panicked as I knew I had nothing to wear. At 32 weeks pregnant I didn't really want to buy a new dress that I wasn't going to wear again. I'm trying to save as much money as I can so buying a dress in a larger size would mean I wouldn't get a lot of usage out of it. Someone advised me to buy something that would be suitable for breastfeeding. Genius idea I thought.

As per usual I'd left it to the last minute and I had to dash into town the day before the christening to try and find something. Most of my old breastfeeding clothes were from JoJo Maman Bebe so I thought I would try there first. They didn't have a huge selection in store and only had one occasion type dress. The hubby pointed out that even if I bought a more casual style one, it would still look dressy enough with a pair of heels.

I found this perfect maternity/breastfeeding wrap dress which was £39, wrap dress. I tried it on and immediately fell in love with it. I even managed to buy it in a small size. I think that's proof of how well made it is.

It's ideal as it's so versatile. It can be worn through your whole pregnancy for every day wear, work wear or evening and occasion wear. You just have to accessorise it accordingly. It also has concealed breastfeeding access so it can be used after pregnancy. The fabric is very comfortable and moves with you. It didn't feel tight in any areas. The skirt isn't a wrap skirt which is great as normally they flap open and you end up showing off your knickers!! You can also tie the wrap part at the front, side or back, therefore making the dress appear different every time you wear it.

I can't recommend this dress enough and thankfully I have checked online and they have it in 3 different colours so I am definitely going to get another one in black, Wrap dress.With the festive period coming up i'm going to need something to see me through all the family and work parties.

Have you bought any clothes from their before? They are my favourite place for maternity wear! It always fits so well.

Pregnancy

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Friday, 28 August 2015

A meltdown at Antenatal clinic

Today I had an appointment at antenatal clinic which was for new bloods to be taken as i've changed hospitals and also another check up with the midwife there. Now today started as a good day and I can't work out where it all went wrong.

I got to clinic and I had my bloods taken which was all fine. I then got to hear babies heartbeat and I had my bump measured. I was a bit shocked to hear that the head was engaged, in fact I almost had a heart-attack. At 29 weeks and 1 day that is way too early for baby to be making an appearance. However, I was assured by the midwife that this is very common in a second pregnancy and that the head will quite regularly pop in and out. She then started to talk about how I didn't have long left. I had thought this myself already but I suppose it's not until you hear someone else say it that it really sinks in. At this point I was rather quiet and pensive.

We then went to the delivery suite so that I could be shown around. I have swapped hospitals so that I can be consultant led by the person that operated on me after my last birth. He is based at a different hospital to where I had Eva. Up until this point I haven't been on a labour ward since having Eva.

I was first taken to the birthing pool room which all seemed lovely. I was engaging in conversation with the midwife but I was distracted and distant. We then went on to a delivery room and I was shown everything. She started talking about incubators and delivery trolleys, visitors, emergency buttons and all of a sudden I just burst into uncontrollable tears. What an absolute plonker I must have looked. I really couldn't hold it in. The look on this poor midwife's face. She tried to comfort me but I couldn't stop. I felt like a prize idiot.

Once I'd calmed down I realised that I have been hiding a lot of my feelings about experiencing childbirth again. I had a terrible delivery last time and I ended up extremely unwell for months after, resulting in me needing an operation. I think walking on to a delivery suite again brought back memories of labour and delivery with Eva. I became scared, petrified in fact. I was having visions of the terrified look on Arwyn's face when it was going wrong. I was remembering being in a room and within seconds there was about 10 people in there. It made me realise that I wasn't prepared to face it all again.

This all seems very silly as I work in an operating theatre. I am very familiar with hospitals and even with emergency situations. In fact normally I would be very comfortable in these environments. However, when it comes to having a baby, perhaps my previous experience along with my working experience goes against me. I technically know too much information. I know what can go wrong. I understand every word people are talking about. It's getting me all worked up and emotional even writing this.

I'm worried that I won't be physically and emotionally strong enough to do it all again. I don't want to let myself, Arwyn or bump down. I need to overcome this silly fear or I know I will have a terrible time again.

I honestly can't describe or explain what on earth came over me today. Perhaps it was my pregnancy hormones? All I know is that I have got to work out how to control my anxiety about the whole thing and I need to do it quickly. As the midwife said it won't be long. I have an appointment with my consultant in a couple of weeks time so I am hoping he will give me lots of encouragement.

Has anyone else felt this emotional about delivery 2nd time around? Did your hormones make you this emotional during pregnancy?

Pregnancy

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