Next up in my Disney quotes for Mindfulness series is Aladdin. This is my all time favourite Disney film and I can't believe I haven't written this post sooner.
Mindfulness really helped me through my postnatal depression. Focusing my mind on reflection helped to calm me down and bring me back into the moment when I was struggling.
Here are 15 Aladdin quotes for Mindfulness:
1) But oh, to be free. To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world
2) Just 'bee' yourself
3) I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far. I can't go back to where I used to be
4) I am not a prize to be won
5) A fool off his guard, could fall and fall hard
6) You've got some power in your corner now
7) I'm not worthless
8) A whole new world with new horizons to pursue
9) Do you trust me?
10) I do love you, but I gotta stop pretending to be something I'm not
11) You ain't never had a friend like me
12) What would you wish for?
13) I can open your eyes
14) I'm in the mood to help you dude
15) For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right
You can read the rest of my series by clicking below:
15 Winnie the Pooh Quotes for Mindfulness
15 Beauty and the Beast Quotes for Mindfulness
15 Moana Quotes for Mindfulness
15 Peter Pan Quotes for Mindfulness
15 The Lion King Quotes for Mindfulness
15 Winnie the Pooh Quotes for Mindfulness
15 Beauty and the Beast Quotes for Mindfulness
15 Moana Quotes for Mindfulness
15 Peter Pan Quotes for Mindfulness
15 The Lion King Quotes for Mindfulness
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When you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed
and the world is on your shoulders,
and you can't shake the feeling off, you hide away,
Talk to me.
When you say you're busy,
too busy to see friends and family,
you have no plans you made them up,
Talk to me.
When you feel you're not good enough,
you compare yourself to others,
you become obsessed with social media and comparisons,
Talk to me.
When you feel tired, so tired,
when all you want to do is lie on the sofa,
you have no energy, you are drained,
Talk to me.
When you feel sad, confused,
nothing makes you happy,
you don't even know why you're sad,
Talk to me.
When you analyse yourself in the mirror,
you hate what you see,
you have no self confidence or self-esteem,
Talk to me.
When you find yourself in a daze,
you can't complete tasks,
you make endless lists but achieve nothing,
Talk to me.
When you lie awake at night,
desperate to go to sleep,
but your mind is in overdrive and you're hyper,
Talk to me.
When you feel you can't do your daily tasks,
everything is a struggle,
you can't cook, clean, read, do the school run,
Talk to me.
When you have a headache,
you feel sick, so sick,
your legs ache, your back aches,
Talk to me.
When you feel like the walls are closing in,
you feel trapped, you feel anxious,
you want to leave but you can't,
Talk to me.
When you decide you are worthless,
when you think that everyone would be better off without you,
when ending your life seems like a form of escape,
Talk to me.
I have been you, somedays I still am you,
most days I am a superhero,
once in a while I'm a superzero,
Talk to me.
Talking is a form of medicine,
it's a relief, it's offloading,
talk to anyone, people will listen.
Talk to me.
Everything will be ok.
Fat! It's the word we love to hate. In fact it's rarely used these days having been replaced by the likes of wobbly, round, overweight, big, bubbly, the list goes on. Therefore, you can imagine my shock and hurt when I heard the word 'FAT' being used to describe my belly. Not only was I shocked at the use of the word but I was dumbfounded at the fact that it had been hurled at me by a close family member.
I know she didn't intentionally mean to hurt me but the word cut through me like a knife. How can someone I know, love and respect be so cutting?
After wallowing in self pity for what felt like days, I started to question why I was so upset over the whole thing. After all, I've only ever wanted my nearest and dearest to be honest with me. You'll quite often find me asking my husband for reassurance of an outfit I'm wearing. 'Does this make me look big?, Is my belly too big in this? Do I look pregnant?'. these are questions that I ask on a daily basis and everyday I don't believe him when he answers me. So how can I be so upset when someone is finally being honest with me, when it's the one thing I always ask my family to be?
It's not the first time this family member has offered their thoughts on my weight, in fact it's quite a regular thing. Looking back on our shopping trips or when I wear something knew, this person always feels the need to offer me some well-meaning advice whether I want it or not. 'Why don't you wear something black, it's very slimming? Darken your hair, it makes your face thinner. Don't wear your hair up as it makes your face look chunkier. Your belly is way too big in that, buy something looser around the waist.'
I know I am not fat and I'm not plus size. I'd say I'm your average Joe. I'm not happy with how I look but I think that's more down to my own mental health and the insecurities that brings me. This person knows I have suffered with my mental health for years and that positivity, in particular, body positivity, doesn't come naturally to me.
So it brings me to the original question, Is it ever ok for a family member to call you fat? I would say no. Nobody deserves that treatment especially if it is very far from the truth. No one deserves the well-intentioned, ill mannered bullying from family members who will insist they are acting out of concern for you. You shouldn't feel shamed or condescended at.
For days I've been thinking of why this family member speaks to me in this way and I've come to reason that it's because they are from a generation where there were no body positive movements. They had similar unhealthy images and ideas of how their bodies should look but there was no one to enforce that you are beautiful inside and out, no matter what you look like.
I've come to realise that they are not criticising me on purpose they are simply trying to get me to live the life they believe is still the best. In their mind, being beautiful means you will live a vibrant life, full of love which is so inconceivable. They think that by wearing beautiful clothes, you will be confident and happy and that is the main thing to be. They come from a generation where looks, money and status are important and nothing else really matters.
I was honestly so upset about this for days but after thinking it through I am fine and I've come to realise the next time I hear one of those comments I am going to stand up for myself.
Have you ever experienced anything like this from family members?
I know she didn't intentionally mean to hurt me but the word cut through me like a knife. How can someone I know, love and respect be so cutting?
After wallowing in self pity for what felt like days, I started to question why I was so upset over the whole thing. After all, I've only ever wanted my nearest and dearest to be honest with me. You'll quite often find me asking my husband for reassurance of an outfit I'm wearing. 'Does this make me look big?, Is my belly too big in this? Do I look pregnant?'. these are questions that I ask on a daily basis and everyday I don't believe him when he answers me. So how can I be so upset when someone is finally being honest with me, when it's the one thing I always ask my family to be?
It's not the first time this family member has offered their thoughts on my weight, in fact it's quite a regular thing. Looking back on our shopping trips or when I wear something knew, this person always feels the need to offer me some well-meaning advice whether I want it or not. 'Why don't you wear something black, it's very slimming? Darken your hair, it makes your face thinner. Don't wear your hair up as it makes your face look chunkier. Your belly is way too big in that, buy something looser around the waist.'
I know I am not fat and I'm not plus size. I'd say I'm your average Joe. I'm not happy with how I look but I think that's more down to my own mental health and the insecurities that brings me. This person knows I have suffered with my mental health for years and that positivity, in particular, body positivity, doesn't come naturally to me.
So it brings me to the original question, Is it ever ok for a family member to call you fat? I would say no. Nobody deserves that treatment especially if it is very far from the truth. No one deserves the well-intentioned, ill mannered bullying from family members who will insist they are acting out of concern for you. You shouldn't feel shamed or condescended at.
For days I've been thinking of why this family member speaks to me in this way and I've come to reason that it's because they are from a generation where there were no body positive movements. They had similar unhealthy images and ideas of how their bodies should look but there was no one to enforce that you are beautiful inside and out, no matter what you look like.
I've come to realise that they are not criticising me on purpose they are simply trying to get me to live the life they believe is still the best. In their mind, being beautiful means you will live a vibrant life, full of love which is so inconceivable. They think that by wearing beautiful clothes, you will be confident and happy and that is the main thing to be. They come from a generation where looks, money and status are important and nothing else really matters.
I was honestly so upset about this for days but after thinking it through I am fine and I've come to realise the next time I hear one of those comments I am going to stand up for myself.
Have you ever experienced anything like this from family members?
Being a working mum can be pretty tiring and rather stressful. I constantly seem to be busy. If i'm not washing clothes or taking the kids somewhere then I am working a long 10 hour shift. Not only that I suffer with Post Natal Depression (PND). You can read one of my posts here, This is PND for me. I've openly discussed my PND journey across my social media so if you're a regular reader you will know that I am not very good at putting myself first and indulging in self care. I am getting better at it and I now able to recognise when I am becoming burnt out and overwhelmed before it is too late.
I was delighted when John Lewis Cardiff invited me to join them for a well-being Yoga morning. Knowing how busy i've been, this sounded exactly like the mummy me time I needed.
John Lewis is aiming to promote and improve the well-being of its customers by providing a one stop shop for everything you need to relax, destress and indulge in some TLC. Whether that's with a makeover, a hand and arm massage, a shopping trip with a personal stylist, some new gym equipment or simply a coffee and a cake, they aim to maximise your mood.
I was gifted with a fantastic new gym kit from John Lewis and Shock Absorber of a top and cropped trousers to wear to the Yoga Class. I've never tried their gym range before and I must admit I haven't taken them off since. The trousers are very comfortable and supportive.
The Yoga class was a small, intimate class led by local instructor Lorraine. The room was beautifully set and I immediately felt calm and relaxed. The session lasted around 45 minutes and I really enjoyed it. I'm not the most flexible person but it certainly cleared my mind. It was a great way to start the day.
I was then treated to a healthy breakfast in the John Lewis restaurant along with some refreshing fruit tea's whilst watching a demonstration of the Nutri Bullet.
My pampering didn't end there. I was then given a lovely hand and arm massage by the ladies from Liz Earle. I'm a big fan of their products, especially their cleansing hot cloth. The products they used smelt amazing.
I really enjoyed my morning of well being. It helped to remind me to look after myself and practice mindfulness too. I came away from the event feeling positive and ready to take on the day.
You can check your local store for a list of their events here, What's on.
*Thank you to John Lewis Cardiff for inviting me to the well-being event and gifting me a goody bag. All views and opinions are my own and as always are truthful*
I was delighted when John Lewis Cardiff invited me to join them for a well-being Yoga morning. Knowing how busy i've been, this sounded exactly like the mummy me time I needed.
John Lewis is aiming to promote and improve the well-being of its customers by providing a one stop shop for everything you need to relax, destress and indulge in some TLC. Whether that's with a makeover, a hand and arm massage, a shopping trip with a personal stylist, some new gym equipment or simply a coffee and a cake, they aim to maximise your mood.
I was gifted with a fantastic new gym kit from John Lewis and Shock Absorber of a top and cropped trousers to wear to the Yoga Class. I've never tried their gym range before and I must admit I haven't taken them off since. The trousers are very comfortable and supportive.
The Yoga class was a small, intimate class led by local instructor Lorraine. The room was beautifully set and I immediately felt calm and relaxed. The session lasted around 45 minutes and I really enjoyed it. I'm not the most flexible person but it certainly cleared my mind. It was a great way to start the day.
I was then treated to a healthy breakfast in the John Lewis restaurant along with some refreshing fruit tea's whilst watching a demonstration of the Nutri Bullet.
My pampering didn't end there. I was then given a lovely hand and arm massage by the ladies from Liz Earle. I'm a big fan of their products, especially their cleansing hot cloth. The products they used smelt amazing.
I really enjoyed my morning of well being. It helped to remind me to look after myself and practice mindfulness too. I came away from the event feeling positive and ready to take on the day.
You can check your local store for a list of their events here, What's on.
*Thank you to John Lewis Cardiff for inviting me to the well-being event and gifting me a goody bag. All views and opinions are my own and as always are truthful*
As I write this I am now 8 weeks into taking 'Setraline' for my PostNatal Depression (PND) and I can honestly say that the side effects I experienced in the first couple of weeks are long gone. I've always said I will write honestly about my PND journey so I knew I needed to write this.
I've decided to write this because I felt so scared and confused when I started taking medication. The decision to actually take medication is not one I took lightly and it was a massive step for me, but I will write about that separately. This post will focus on the side-effects I suffered so that if you are taking these tablets, you know these things are normal and that they will get better. Also don't forget medication effects people differently so if you do take any anti-depressants you may or may not get any side effects.
The Setraline dose I was subscribed was 50mg but this can be increased if needed. I can honestly say the first week of taking these tablets was hell and I thought i'd made the worst decision of my life. I suffered so much and if it wasn't for my husband and family members, I would've given up. The second week was still bad but things started to ease off.
Here are the side effects I experienced:
Headaches
I had quite a few headaches in the first couple of weeks. I treated these with paracetamol and that seemed to work.
Insomnia
The worst symptom for me was the insomnia. For the first week I literally slept probably about an hour a night in total. My mind would be racing constantly. It was horrible. I couldn't switch my mind off and relax at all.
Increased energy
This symptom tied in with the previous one. I seemed to have increased energy at night-time. I felt hyper and I couldn't keep still. I would twitch a lot or tap things. It was very annoying.
Feeling unsettled/uneasy
I couldn't shake an uneasy feeling. I was worried something bad was going to happen. I'm not sure what but I was worried, scared and more anxious than usual. I'd follow my husband around everywhere like a lost puppy. I'd cling to him and I always wanted reassurance. I didn't want to be left alone.
Weakness
For a couple of days I felt very weak. My muscles ached in a way which is similar to the ache you get in them when you have the flu.
Nausea
Feeling queasy lasted about a week. I was sick a couple of times but most of the time it was just nausea.
Restless Leg
Another symptom that kept me up most of the night was restless leg. My knees ached. This lasted about a couple of weeks. Somebody suggested taking magnesium tablets which I take every day to help with restless legs.
Tiredness
The tablets made me very tired. In fact they still do. Before I started taking them I could never nap in the day. Now I fall asleep during the day at least twice a week.
Intrusive thoughts
This was a very frightening symptom which co insides with feeling uneasy. I constantly questioned my own existence. kept saying I was a failure and that everybody would be better off without me. Thankfully this only lasted about a week.
As i've already said you may not even suffer with any symptoms when taking these tablets. It's so important to make sure you have a good support network around you when you start taking anti-depressants and to always talk to someone if you are worried.
I am feeling so much better now. I am a calmer, happier person but I will write about that in more detail soon.
I've decided to write this because I felt so scared and confused when I started taking medication. The decision to actually take medication is not one I took lightly and it was a massive step for me, but I will write about that separately. This post will focus on the side-effects I suffered so that if you are taking these tablets, you know these things are normal and that they will get better. Also don't forget medication effects people differently so if you do take any anti-depressants you may or may not get any side effects.
The Setraline dose I was subscribed was 50mg but this can be increased if needed. I can honestly say the first week of taking these tablets was hell and I thought i'd made the worst decision of my life. I suffered so much and if it wasn't for my husband and family members, I would've given up. The second week was still bad but things started to ease off.
Here are the side effects I experienced:
Headaches
I had quite a few headaches in the first couple of weeks. I treated these with paracetamol and that seemed to work.
Insomnia
The worst symptom for me was the insomnia. For the first week I literally slept probably about an hour a night in total. My mind would be racing constantly. It was horrible. I couldn't switch my mind off and relax at all.
Increased energy
This symptom tied in with the previous one. I seemed to have increased energy at night-time. I felt hyper and I couldn't keep still. I would twitch a lot or tap things. It was very annoying.
Feeling unsettled/uneasy
I couldn't shake an uneasy feeling. I was worried something bad was going to happen. I'm not sure what but I was worried, scared and more anxious than usual. I'd follow my husband around everywhere like a lost puppy. I'd cling to him and I always wanted reassurance. I didn't want to be left alone.
Weakness
For a couple of days I felt very weak. My muscles ached in a way which is similar to the ache you get in them when you have the flu.
Nausea
Feeling queasy lasted about a week. I was sick a couple of times but most of the time it was just nausea.
Restless Leg
Another symptom that kept me up most of the night was restless leg. My knees ached. This lasted about a couple of weeks. Somebody suggested taking magnesium tablets which I take every day to help with restless legs.
Tiredness
The tablets made me very tired. In fact they still do. Before I started taking them I could never nap in the day. Now I fall asleep during the day at least twice a week.
Intrusive thoughts
This was a very frightening symptom which co insides with feeling uneasy. I constantly questioned my own existence. kept saying I was a failure and that everybody would be better off without me. Thankfully this only lasted about a week.
As i've already said you may not even suffer with any symptoms when taking these tablets. It's so important to make sure you have a good support network around you when you start taking anti-depressants and to always talk to someone if you are worried.
I am feeling so much better now. I am a calmer, happier person but I will write about that in more detail soon.
We've had a busy week this week which has been a mixed bag of emotions. We've had funerals, a birthday, some fun times, some sad times and now illness. You can catch up with last week's #LittleLoves post here, Ice Skating, Santa and Food Poisoning.
Read:
This week I read an incredible blog post written by Lucy at 'Mrs H's favourite things'. It was An Open Letter To The Girl who Just Attempted Suicide. It was a hard thing for me to read this week after attending the funeral of my beautiful cousin on Monday, who committed suicide due to suffering with a mental health illness. It was such an honest, brave post for Lucy to write and I'm so glad she did. It helps to raise awareness which is what I want to continue to do.
Heard:
Without this sounding morbid, I heard one of my favourite Michael Jackson songs at my cousins funeral. I've always been one of the biggest MJ fans around so to hear this set me off into a million tears. It was 'you are not alone,'. Such a shame to hear it under sad circumstances but the words are beautiful.
Without this sounding morbid, I heard one of my favourite Michael Jackson songs at my cousins funeral. I've always been one of the biggest MJ fans around so to hear this set me off into a million tears. It was 'you are not alone,'. Such a shame to hear it under sad circumstances but the words are beautiful.
Made:
It was Ophelia's 2nd birthday this week and ever since our girls were born, we have made them a special birthday cake ourselves. Ophelia is obsessed with Moana so we decided to throw her a Moana inspired party which of course meant we had to make a Moana themed cake.
I wish I could take most of the credit for this but I can't. Hubby did most of it and I am so proud of him. Ophelia thought it was amazing.
Watched:
This weekend we went to see Olaf's Frozen Adventure followed by Frozen. We all loved it. It was a heart warming Christmas short and the new song is great. The girls had a fab time and Ophelia sat through both screenings singing and clapping.
Wore:
For ophelia's birthday the girls both had new dresses to wear. We went for something sparkly so they'd last through the festive season. Ophelia's was a gorgeous purple dress from Next and Eva had a glittery one from Asda. They looked adorable.
For ophelia's birthday the girls both had new dresses to wear. We went for something sparkly so they'd last through the festive season. Ophelia's was a gorgeous purple dress from Next and Eva had a glittery one from Asda. They looked adorable.
And Lastly:
So with a week of ups and downs, we've ended on a down. Ophelia has caught Eva's chicken pox. I'm trying to put a positive spin on it and i'm grateful that she's got it now rather than when we fly to Australia in a couple of weeks. However, i'm not looking forward to another week in isolation.
How was your week? What did you get up to?
How was your week? What did you get up to?
Every time I think of my Postnatal Depression (PND) journey, there is one thing that makes me very upset and that is how long I suffered before I was diagnosed. I don't blame this on anyone and I certainly don't blame my health visitor. In fact she was the one that picked up on my strange behaviour and finally got me to admit everything. I believe it was overlooked on my part due to my total lack of understanding of the mental illness.
Before I had a better understanding of PND I thought that depression presented itself in one way only, which was all doom and gloom. I thought you had to be crying constantly and basically locking yourself away. Don't get me wrong I do have those emotions and actions but actually my PND presents itself in many different forms.
I think this is such an important thing to comprehend when you are dealing with PND yourself or trying to help someone who is a sufferer. I couldn't recognise my PND as I was dealing with many different symptoms, many of which you may not necessarily associate with a mental health problem.
This is how my PND presents itself, this is PND for me:
- A low mood - This sometimes lasts an hour, sometimes a few hours, sometimes a day, sometimes a week and sometimes it's extremely prolonged and can last for weeks.
- Irritable - Every little problem bothers me and I snap very quickly.
- Feeling ill - When I am suffering I always have a headache or I feel sick.
- Feeling overwhelmed - The usual day to day tasks that I normally do become too much for me to handle.
- Lack of concentration - This is always a contradictory symptom as I usually go into overdrive when I have bad days and I create lists of tasks to myself of things I need to achieve which then leads me to have no concentration at all. I am quite zoned out when I am suffering. I am an aware of anything going on around me.
- Rage - This is one of the surprising symptoms. I become so angry. Everything and anything gets me angry. I have no tolerance for anything. When I was very bad I actually used to smash things to let out my rage.
- Scary thoughts - This one always frightens me. I constantly run through 'what if' scenarios and send myself into a bit of an emotional frenzy.
- Insomnia - When I am suffering, I don't sleep. If i'm not crying then I am running through lists in my mind etc and I just can't shut it off.
- Feeling Guilty - Mum guilt is everywhere in my life but when I am having a lapse with my PND, I feel guilty about everything. I always say I am a rubbish mum and I always feel like I've let my girls down.
- Comfort eating - My goodness can I put on some weight when I am going through this. I literally eat anything and everything in site to attempt to make myself feel better.
- Crying - Sometime I cry hysterically for hours on end. I lock myself away and scream.
- Laughter - This is a symptom I never would have recognised. Sometimes I am unusually happy, I am overly smily and I am constantly laughing. This is a charade. This is to cover up how I am really feeling. I become very silly and very excitable. It's very up and down behaviour.
- Workaholic - I get the sense of urgency to please anyone and everyone. I don't like the idea of failure and I like to look busy. I will take on way too many tasks and immerse myself in work, not wanting to let anybody down and especially not myself.
- Having cabin fever - I refuse invitations from friends and family. I shut myself away and make excuses not do to things.
- Lack of confidence - When I am suffering I lack confidence in every part of my life. That being my body, my mind, my personality, my clothing, my ability to parent etc.
- Exhaustion - I get so tired. My mind is heavy and my body is heavy.
- Noise Sensitivity - Suddenly noises all become very loud. Everything hurts my ears and it's all too much.
I'm still yet to overcome my mental illness, maybe I never will but I am now able to recognise my behaviours and symptoms and so is my husband. It's very hard to understand the behaviours of someone with PND when they can present in so many different ways. I guess it's important to recognise erratic behaviour and over compensating when they experience different emotions.
Some people will never understand how I can behave in these ways especially those that are closest to me and that is because they just aren't used to seeing me that way. Just know that if you have a friend or relative that suffers with PND that they are doing just that. They are suffering. This is not something they asked for. It may change them but if you look closely they are still there deep down. They just need that bit of extra support and patience.
"You don't look like someone with PND (postnatal depression)". I can't tell you how many times I've heard this said to me. I've heard it said to me so many times that quite often it has left me questioning myself and my diagnosis. This got me thinking. What does someone with PND look like? The answer is easy really, it could be anyone.
It could be the young mum, the older mum, the mum with the sunglasses, the mum crying, the mum who laughs all the time, the mum who is perfect, the mum with the bouncy blow dry, the mum not returning any of your calls, it could even be a dad. It could be the person that looks like they have everything. It could even be a celebrity. I wrote a poem called To the Mum with PND, You are not alone which also highlights who may be suffering. You can read it here, PND POEM.
The point i'm trying to make is that people think depression has a look. They expect people to look and act in a certain way. They expect is to be fairly obvious if someone is suffering with mental illness, when in reality, it's actually quite the opposite.
I've also had the following said to me on more that one occasion:
"But you always look so happy"
"You always go out and go places"
"You can't be depressed you've just be on holiday"
"You don't look depressed you're always smiling"
If you saw me on a daily basis you wouldn't know I suffer with PND. I've become excellent at hiding it. You see, people who suffer with PND wear a mask. They mask the reality of their feelings because of the shame they think it brings them. I don't want people to think I can't cope or that I struggle. I don't want people talking about me as if i'm some sort of terrible mother. I wouldn't want people to see me at my worst. My mask hides the feelings of guilt.
Don't get me wrong there are days when I am genuinely happy. I have so many good days and they outweigh the bad days now. Some days I am a Mother warrior when I get everything done. I manage to take the kids out, I tend to the house and I genuinely enjoy myself.
However, it's important to remember that not everybody that is depressed is crying. In fact most of them don't cry that often and they certainly don't cry 24/7. They actually may be smiling or laughing.
People with PND are able to perfect a facade. The facade enables sufferers to feel strong and powerful and makes them feel like they are fighting their illness. I may smile 24/7 around other people but you can't judge my mental health on that as you'll never know what pain my mind is putting me through behind my smile.
So to the people that have used the phrase "you don't look like someone with PND", what do you think of these people?
Every one of these pictures is someone that has suffered with PND. You wouldn't know it by looking at them would you?
Just remember it's not often those that you think would suffer that actually do.
It could be the young mum, the older mum, the mum with the sunglasses, the mum crying, the mum who laughs all the time, the mum who is perfect, the mum with the bouncy blow dry, the mum not returning any of your calls, it could even be a dad. It could be the person that looks like they have everything. It could even be a celebrity. I wrote a poem called To the Mum with PND, You are not alone which also highlights who may be suffering. You can read it here, PND POEM.
The point i'm trying to make is that people think depression has a look. They expect people to look and act in a certain way. They expect is to be fairly obvious if someone is suffering with mental illness, when in reality, it's actually quite the opposite.
I've also had the following said to me on more that one occasion:
"But you always look so happy"
"You always go out and go places"
"You can't be depressed you've just be on holiday"
"You don't look depressed you're always smiling"
If you saw me on a daily basis you wouldn't know I suffer with PND. I've become excellent at hiding it. You see, people who suffer with PND wear a mask. They mask the reality of their feelings because of the shame they think it brings them. I don't want people to think I can't cope or that I struggle. I don't want people talking about me as if i'm some sort of terrible mother. I wouldn't want people to see me at my worst. My mask hides the feelings of guilt.
Don't get me wrong there are days when I am genuinely happy. I have so many good days and they outweigh the bad days now. Some days I am a Mother warrior when I get everything done. I manage to take the kids out, I tend to the house and I genuinely enjoy myself.
However, it's important to remember that not everybody that is depressed is crying. In fact most of them don't cry that often and they certainly don't cry 24/7. They actually may be smiling or laughing.
People with PND are able to perfect a facade. The facade enables sufferers to feel strong and powerful and makes them feel like they are fighting their illness. I may smile 24/7 around other people but you can't judge my mental health on that as you'll never know what pain my mind is putting me through behind my smile.
So to the people that have used the phrase "you don't look like someone with PND", what do you think of these people?
Every one of these pictures is someone that has suffered with PND. You wouldn't know it by looking at them would you?
Just remember it's not often those that you think would suffer that actually do.
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