Monday, 4 September 2017

On the Eve of your First Day in Reception

I've just been labelling your clothes, making sure your uniform is ready on your chair. I've got your bag and lunchbox ready and it has just dawned on me, How am I doing this already? Didn't you just get here?



I remember the day you arrived so vividly. You didn't come into the world easily but when you eventually came, you took my breath away. You were the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen. Those big eyes and button nose. You looked like a doll. So precious and so tiny. You were as light as a feather. I'm left thinking, When did you get so big?


You seem to have just grown over night! One minute you were crawling and now you're running. When did you decide you didn't want to hold my hand on walks anymore? When did you decide you didn't want to sit on my lap for story time? When did you decide that you didn't need help being fed? When did you decide you didn't want me to sing to you before bedtime? All those little things I took for granted and now they've disappeared from my life without me even realising. 


I've obviously known this day was coming for the last 4.5 years. There were days when I thought it couldn't come quick enough. Those days when I declared to people that you were so ready for full time education because I found you hard to keep entertained. The days when I was desperate for a break. I felt like you were always wanting more but looking back you were just learning.  You wanted to be busy, you asked lots of questions and you were always enthusiastic and inquisitive. What an idiot I was for thinking you were hard work. What I wouldn't give for another week of those days.


Tomorrow is such a huge milestone in your life. It's funny as every milestone we desperately wanted you to hit, it hadn't occurred to us that would be the last time you did something. We became so wrapped up in firsts, we forgot about lasts.

I wish I could remember the last time I breast fed you. I would have savoured it, photographed it. Mesmerised the way you looked at me as you were doing it. I wish I could remember the last time I carried you in a sling. I wish I could remember the last journey you took in your rear facing car seat. I wish I could remember the last time I helped you to get dressed. I just wish I could remember every little detail of the last 4.5 years. 


All we've done for the last 6 weeks is prepare you for this day. We've talked about it so much that you are so excited to start. You can't wait. What hadn't occurred to me, was to prepare myself. 

I will miss our mummy and Eva days when it was just the 2 of us on our adventures big and small. 


I may be sad and generally down in the dumps this week but that's not because I am not happy for you starting school, I'm just sad that the last 4.5 years have flown by. Just bare with me tomorrow as I have a tear in my eye when you dress yourself in your uniform, as I take a million pictures of you, as I hold your hand on the way to school and as I cling to it before you run in, not wanting to let go. You see it's hard for daddy and I as we've been the ones to teach you everything since you were born, we've guided you and educated you and now we are handing that over to someone else. Our lives are changing as much as yours. 


Just know that we love you and we are so proud of the little girl you have become. To our eldest girl, our first baby, you are confident, feisty, independent, chatty, funny and sociable. We know you will have the best time. Enjoy every minute. We sure have.




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24 comments

  1. Oh Kerry! This is so beautiful. I'm crying!!

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  2. Lovely to read Kerry and I can relate to some bits of this. Mr T starts school tomorrow too.

    Thankfully (or not) we still have a cuddle monster on our hands who loves to sit on our knee and sing songs with. He would even let us help feed him if he got his way. Getting him dressed is still hell!! I remember our last breast feed, I dont remember car seat or sling.

    He is growing. He is healthy. He drives us insane. We love him!

    Enjoy school Eva! You will thrive. Good luck mummy too xxx

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  3. Helen & Harry4 September 2017 at 21:53

    💕 beautiful words x

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  4. Lovely. I think I would ask you to stop singing at night too lol (Chantelle)x

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  5. Lovely. I think I would ask you to stop singing at night too lol! Xx

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  6. Posts like this help me cope with the not-so-fun times. This is very lovely.

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  7. so, so lovely. this was me last year, it is so surprising just how quick that first school year goes! good luck to you all x

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  8. She is adorable! I still remember sending my now 10 year old off to his first day of kindergarten and how bittersweet it was. There are so many more memories to make though. Every Saturday night is movie night for my son and I and just watching him learn so much and develop all of his interests and hearing him talk about his passions is every day, an amazing thing to watch. It's okay to feel sad right now though because its hard watching your babies get older. I am still struck by how fast my boys have grown. A teenager and a Tween. It flies by way too fast.

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  9. The day they start reception is one of the hardest days of a Mums life. We worry all day while they are having a great time. I hope you both survived the day x

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  10. What lovely words and they are words I can totally relate to. My precious miracle boy started reception today. Today I was brave as he is only in half days this week. It's next week I'm dreading when he's in full time. Good luck, lovely photos. They grow way too fast!

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  11. Oh Kerry! This has made me realise that I need to appreciate the little things more. Hope your girl loves school and settles in quickly x

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  12. We still have another two years before school - and after reading this I will definitely savour them more! X

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  13. Ahhhh so sad! The time goes so fast...

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  14. Aw this is beautiful but don't forget all the fun you have ahead, my almost 15 year old is amazing and so much fun to be with. You've got the best years to come ;-)

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  15. Ah hun I am sure that the first day of school must be really hard but I know that your strong leadership and parenting qualities will help her settle in. Good luck x

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  16. This is such a sweet post! My boy just jumped from P1 to P3 because we moved countries and the school systems were different - still can't believe I'm suddenly mum to a P3!

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  17. Oh this is so lovely, I hope Eva had a fab first day at school x

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  18. Lovely read, I've just written something similar myself and my little boy was only going back to playgroup for his last year. Next year will be school.

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