It's taken me a while to decide to write this post as I wasn't sure whether people would understand. There are so many body positive people around and I hate to admit it but I still can't get on board with loving my post baby body. In fact I hate it. I am the least body positive person you will find and when I see people loving their post baby shape and embracing their bodies, i'm jealous. I want to feel like that. So why can't I?
This is a question i've been asking myself for a long time. I see images on instagram of amazing mums embracing their shape, going to the gym, the healthy eating images, mums eating boxes of chocolates etc and they are all confident and happy with the way they look. However, when I take a picture I can honestly tell you I scrutinise it for about an hour. Millions of silly questions and thoughts pop in to my self doubted mind. Do I look fat in it? Oh my god look at my chin! My legs look massive. I look huge in that coat. I am never, ever wearing that again. Why can't I just look at the picture and be happy? Why do I sit there and tear myself apart like some deranged, hormonal, high school chick. I thought the days of worrying over how other people view me were left at the school gates 15 years ago.
It doesn't just stop at photos. We have a long mirror in our bedroom. Every time I walk past it, I stand there and analyse myself, from the front, side and back. Why do I keep doing that? Nothing will have changed in the couple of hours since I last checked. I'll get dressed in the morning (which by the way takes ages as i'll have spent the best part of half an hour finding something that covers my mum tum and jumping up and down to squeeze into my jeans) and then I stand there and criticise myself from top to bottom. My husband constantly tells me off about this and has threatened to remove the mirror as he's sick of seeing me body shame myself on a daily basis.
Here's how I view other mummies and their take on their post baby bodies. You either get the chai eating, smoothie drinking, in the gym 24/7 mummies or the I am embracing my curves and scars and my body is beautiful mummies. Why can I not be in either of these categories? So as a nearly 32 year old mum of 2, one naturally and one through caesarean I am the mummy who hates my stretch marks and scars, hates my curves and hates my extra weight gain. There i've said it and I feel better for saying it.
I've written this post to hopefully show other mums who feel like me that it is actually ok to say it. It is ok to say you know what, I feel and look like shit. I bet there are other mums out there who put on a front but deep down they feel like shit. I'm saying it's ok to say it as I've honestly come to the point where now I've said it out loud i'm going to start making a change to help me learn to love myself.
But back to the original part. Why haven't I been able to accept my post baby body? When I sit down and really think about why i'm so unhappy it's pretty clear that I had very unrealistic expectations of what I'd be like after having kids.
I'm not gonna lie, I expected to look like an instant milf after giving birth. I imagined the photos of me holding my newborn with a bouncy blow dry and glowing skin with make up on. I imagine waltzing out of the hospital, holding on to the car seat and owning the corridor like it was a catwalk. In reality the glow on my face was sweat, I had a nighty on from Primark with was a size 16 and something that my great nan would have worn back in the day and my outfit for leaving hospital resembled the tracksuit trend from the 90's. Don't even get me started on the walk. The only thing I was owning was a John Wayne impression. Not to worry, i'll be in the gym in no time and sipping coffees with my friends in my skinny jeans wearing my sunnies. Wrong!!
I wasn't expecting to still be in maternity jeans for months down the line or hideous over sized nursing clothes. This is not what I imagined. I was expecting to have the sass and confidence that matched Kim Kardashian. When we went to a wedding I was expecting look as elegant and graceful as Kate Middleton, truth be told I looked more like Mrs Blobby.
And that is where the problem lies. The expectation and the pressure that is put on us by the media and every day life to bounce back into shape and look as good as you did 9 months previously. Our cultures obsession with weight is draining. It makes me so angry that I've spent the best part of four years obsessing over something that is insignificant. I should be focusing on motherhood and setting an example to my girls. Do I want them to scrutinise themselves over their weight the way I do? Hell No!!! It would break my heart if I saw either of them analysing themselves in the mirror. It's time to change.
Nobody tells you how hard motherhood is going to be. How tiring it's going to be. How somedays you won't even be able to leave the house, let alone get dressed and look and feel a million dollars.
It's difficult for women. Nobody tells you hard motherhood is going to be, just like no one ever tells you that tampons can kill you thanks to Toxic Shock Syndrome or that you'll find hairs everywhere one day.
This is a question i've been asking myself for a long time. I see images on instagram of amazing mums embracing their shape, going to the gym, the healthy eating images, mums eating boxes of chocolates etc and they are all confident and happy with the way they look. However, when I take a picture I can honestly tell you I scrutinise it for about an hour. Millions of silly questions and thoughts pop in to my self doubted mind. Do I look fat in it? Oh my god look at my chin! My legs look massive. I look huge in that coat. I am never, ever wearing that again. Why can't I just look at the picture and be happy? Why do I sit there and tear myself apart like some deranged, hormonal, high school chick. I thought the days of worrying over how other people view me were left at the school gates 15 years ago.
It doesn't just stop at photos. We have a long mirror in our bedroom. Every time I walk past it, I stand there and analyse myself, from the front, side and back. Why do I keep doing that? Nothing will have changed in the couple of hours since I last checked. I'll get dressed in the morning (which by the way takes ages as i'll have spent the best part of half an hour finding something that covers my mum tum and jumping up and down to squeeze into my jeans) and then I stand there and criticise myself from top to bottom. My husband constantly tells me off about this and has threatened to remove the mirror as he's sick of seeing me body shame myself on a daily basis.
Here's how I view other mummies and their take on their post baby bodies. You either get the chai eating, smoothie drinking, in the gym 24/7 mummies or the I am embracing my curves and scars and my body is beautiful mummies. Why can I not be in either of these categories? So as a nearly 32 year old mum of 2, one naturally and one through caesarean I am the mummy who hates my stretch marks and scars, hates my curves and hates my extra weight gain. There i've said it and I feel better for saying it.
I've written this post to hopefully show other mums who feel like me that it is actually ok to say it. It is ok to say you know what, I feel and look like shit. I bet there are other mums out there who put on a front but deep down they feel like shit. I'm saying it's ok to say it as I've honestly come to the point where now I've said it out loud i'm going to start making a change to help me learn to love myself.
But back to the original part. Why haven't I been able to accept my post baby body? When I sit down and really think about why i'm so unhappy it's pretty clear that I had very unrealistic expectations of what I'd be like after having kids.
I'm not gonna lie, I expected to look like an instant milf after giving birth. I imagined the photos of me holding my newborn with a bouncy blow dry and glowing skin with make up on. I imagine waltzing out of the hospital, holding on to the car seat and owning the corridor like it was a catwalk. In reality the glow on my face was sweat, I had a nighty on from Primark with was a size 16 and something that my great nan would have worn back in the day and my outfit for leaving hospital resembled the tracksuit trend from the 90's. Don't even get me started on the walk. The only thing I was owning was a John Wayne impression. Not to worry, i'll be in the gym in no time and sipping coffees with my friends in my skinny jeans wearing my sunnies. Wrong!!
I wasn't expecting to still be in maternity jeans for months down the line or hideous over sized nursing clothes. This is not what I imagined. I was expecting to have the sass and confidence that matched Kim Kardashian. When we went to a wedding I was expecting look as elegant and graceful as Kate Middleton, truth be told I looked more like Mrs Blobby.
And that is where the problem lies. The expectation and the pressure that is put on us by the media and every day life to bounce back into shape and look as good as you did 9 months previously. Our cultures obsession with weight is draining. It makes me so angry that I've spent the best part of four years obsessing over something that is insignificant. I should be focusing on motherhood and setting an example to my girls. Do I want them to scrutinise themselves over their weight the way I do? Hell No!!! It would break my heart if I saw either of them analysing themselves in the mirror. It's time to change.
Nobody tells you how hard motherhood is going to be. How tiring it's going to be. How somedays you won't even be able to leave the house, let alone get dressed and look and feel a million dollars.
It's difficult for women. Nobody tells you hard motherhood is going to be, just like no one ever tells you that tampons can kill you thanks to Toxic Shock Syndrome or that you'll find hairs everywhere one day.
Don't get me wrong I love exercise and healthy eating but I should be doing that because I want to do it not because i'm hoping it'll make me some sort of size 6 queen.
It's going to take a while but eventually I will be a body positive mum. I will embrace my curves and I will find myself sexy again. I've just got to remember that very point. It will take time!!
I've got to stop being so hard on myself and realise that my truly amazing body not only grew, developed and looked after 2 babies, it then managed to safely bring them into the world. It has also never failed me during my years of motherhood. Ok there have been some blips and a couple of minor operations but it managed to feed the girls, get me up in the middle of the night, carry them when my arms were exhausted and keep me going when I was sleep deprived. Having a mummy body is a miracle really when you think about it! Mum bodies are awesome!
So there you have it. Four years down the line my journey to accepting my post baby body has just begun.
It's going to take a while but eventually I will be a body positive mum. I will embrace my curves and I will find myself sexy again. I've just got to remember that very point. It will take time!!
I've got to stop being so hard on myself and realise that my truly amazing body not only grew, developed and looked after 2 babies, it then managed to safely bring them into the world. It has also never failed me during my years of motherhood. Ok there have been some blips and a couple of minor operations but it managed to feed the girls, get me up in the middle of the night, carry them when my arms were exhausted and keep me going when I was sleep deprived. Having a mummy body is a miracle really when you think about it! Mum bodies are awesome!
So there you have it. Four years down the line my journey to accepting my post baby body has just begun.
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Is there anything better than having a night away from your home and enjoying an overnight stay at a hotel? We were recently invited to review a dinner, bed and breakfast package at The Vale Resort so naturally we jumped at the chance. I couldn't wait to not have to think about washing up, cleaning, ironing or feeding the girls. We were having a well deserved night off.
I've been to the Vale Resort quite a few times before but I'd never actually stayed in the hotel. I've used their spa and I can't recommend it enough. It's my favourite one in South Wales. They do the most incredible hot stone massage. I also used to be a member of their gym which I loved.
When we arrived at the hotel, I was delighted to see that parking was free. This is a fab as there are hotels in South Wales that do charge you to park even if you are guests at the hotel which I don't agree with.
Check in was quick and easy. The girls were presented with a kids pack which contained a cute dragon teddy and some colouring paper and pencils. Eva loved this touch. We then headed off to our Junior Suite.
The suite absolutely blew us away. It was gorgeous. The bathroom was my favourite part of the room. It made me feel like I was staying in a spa. It had a large double sink, walk in shower and a bath that you just didn't want to get out of. I could've quite happily slept in there. There were White Company toiletries which is one of my favourite shops so I was very pleased to see those. There was plenty of room to bath both children and get them dressed for bed without feeling squashed in.
The bedroom was also a fantastic size. There was a lot of wardrobe and drawer space available which is a must when travelling with a family as we always have so much stuff. I adored the colour scheme of the room. It felt very inviting. The bed and pillows were comfortable. Our heads and bodies just sank into them.
The living room included a dining table, side table, sofa, sofa bed and tea and coffee making facilities. There was some chocolates and cookies which the girls thoroughly enjoyed. We also had a terrace. I popped out and had a cup of tea on it in the morning. It was cold but it was lovely and peaceful. I can imagine it would be a wonderful feature in the summer months.
I can't recommend the room enough. It's luxurious but also feels like a home away from home if you are staying with children. It had everything we needed and we didn't feel cramped at all.
For dinner we sat in the conservatory which was lovely. There was an extensive menu to choose from for both us and the girls. Ophelia had a selection of mini pizzas and Eva had Spaghetti Bolognese Both of them enjoyed their dinner. I chose to have the steak which was cooked to perfection. The chips were also delicious. I'm salivating just remembering them. Hubby had the duck which he thought was great. We all managed to squeeze in a dessert. The girls had ice-cream and we had a fantastic cheeseboard. The waiter we had for the evening was wonderful. He was attentive, knowledgeable and excellent with the girls. I always find dining out with the girls quite stressful but he made us feel very welcome.
After a good nights sleep we headed for breakfast. Again we sat in the conservatory and we were able to absorb the breathtaking views. In the buffet there was a wide selection of hot and cold items to choose from. It was all very tasty and set us up nicely for our swim.
The swimming pool area is great. I was already familiar with it from previously having a gym membership there but that was before I had children. The changing facilities are great if you have a family. There was a separate family area which had a playpen. This is so handy when you're trying to get yourself changed and you have a baby or a young toddler.
After a swim we relaxed back in our suite for a couple of hours. It was wonderful to just switch off and forget about everything.
We then headed for Afternoon Tea. This is one of my favourite things to do as a special treat. We tried the new spring menu which is perfect for Mother's Day and Easter. The girls were given their own smaller sized afternoon tea to share which I thought was a great touch. All the flavours complimented each other and the desserts were light and refreshing as opposed to rich and sickly. Hubby and I also had a glass of champagne with ours which really made it special.
Before heading home we enjoyed a cup of tea whilst the girls played in the play area which is located in the bar.
Overall, our stay was amazing. Eva said it was the best hotel ever and she cried when we left. She really didn't want to go. Hubby and I found it a wonderful experience and incredibly relaxing. The suite was exquisite, the food was all tasty and the staff were all outstanding. We can't recommend it enough. The resort is perfect for a family getaway. You can watch a video of our time there over on youtube.
We barely even scratched the surface of exploring all the wonderful facilities the resort has to offer so we are already planning our next stay. We are hoping to go again during easter half term.
If you are looking for a Mother's Day gift then the afternoon tea is ideal. Have a read about it on their website here, Afternoon Tea. There are also lots of other gift ideas over on their website, Mother's Day. I've got my eye on their spa package. If you're looking for something special and unique to do for easter then have a look at their chocolate making and cupcake making stays. Hubby always makes his own chocolate truffles so I think he'd really enjoy that stay, Chocolate Lovers Stay, Cupcake Break.
*Thank you to the Vale for inviting us to stay. All our opinions are our own honest thoughts*
*Thank you to the Vale for inviting us to stay. All our opinions are our own honest thoughts*
Its been quite a while since I wrote a blog post about our meal plans. The last one I published was in the middle of February which you can read here, 13th Feb Meal Plan. The most popular meal from that was Joe Wicks' Chicken Pie. It was a hit with all of us.
We were away quite a bit during half term so I didn't bother meal planning that week and then stupidly I didn't get around to writing one the following week. This saw us having a couple of takeaways, lots of naughty, lazy food and saw us spending far too much on our shops. This week we are back on track.
This week we are all eating the same meals. Luckily I still have some batch cooked meals in the freezer incase the girls don't like anything new I present them this week.
Inspiration for this weeks meal plan has mainly come from Kayla Itsines book. I've mentioned her book before on a previous meal plan. It's my current favourite cookbook. It features lots of great, healthy recipes which are perfect for hubby and I because it's 7 weeks until we go on holiday so we have just started a new health and fitness mission.
Monday - Chicken Wings and Mediterranean Vegetables
Tuesday - Homemade Turkey Burgers (without the bun for hubby and I and a bun for the girls) with Sweet Potato Fries
Wednesday - Tuna Pasta Bake (I'm actually out for dinner this eve so will try and choose something as healthy as possible).
Thursday - Chicken and Prawn Paella (Kayla Itsines Recipe)
Friday - Fish Tacos (Kayla Itsines Recipe)
Saturday - Fakeaway Pizzas (healthy homemade ones for hubby and I using a pitta bread for the base and the girls will make their own)
Sunday - Roast Dinner
I'm struggling for healthy but quick to prepare, breakfast, lunch and snack ideas. Do you have any suggestions?
We were away quite a bit during half term so I didn't bother meal planning that week and then stupidly I didn't get around to writing one the following week. This saw us having a couple of takeaways, lots of naughty, lazy food and saw us spending far too much on our shops. This week we are back on track.
This week we are all eating the same meals. Luckily I still have some batch cooked meals in the freezer incase the girls don't like anything new I present them this week.
Inspiration for this weeks meal plan has mainly come from Kayla Itsines book. I've mentioned her book before on a previous meal plan. It's my current favourite cookbook. It features lots of great, healthy recipes which are perfect for hubby and I because it's 7 weeks until we go on holiday so we have just started a new health and fitness mission.
Monday - Chicken Wings and Mediterranean Vegetables
Tuesday - Homemade Turkey Burgers (without the bun for hubby and I and a bun for the girls) with Sweet Potato Fries
Wednesday - Tuna Pasta Bake (I'm actually out for dinner this eve so will try and choose something as healthy as possible).
Thursday - Chicken and Prawn Paella (Kayla Itsines Recipe)
Friday - Fish Tacos (Kayla Itsines Recipe)
Saturday - Fakeaway Pizzas (healthy homemade ones for hubby and I using a pitta bread for the base and the girls will make their own)
I'm struggling for healthy but quick to prepare, breakfast, lunch and snack ideas. Do you have any suggestions?
It's now 7 weeks today until we go to DisneyWorld. If you read my blog regularly then you'll know that as a family we are rather fond of anything Disney. That obviously includes clothes.
Apparently as adults you can't wear costumes whilst in DisneyWorld much to my devastation and therefore I want to kit myself out in Disney wear to fully embrace the experience.
Disney branded clothing can be pricey but luckily our high street shops and supermarket chains have cottoned on to the fact that we love Disney clothes and you can now get them pretty much everywhere from Asda to ASOS.
My favourite place for Disney clothing and accessories is Primark. They have so many things in there at fantastic prices. The adults and kids clothes are great.
My first Disney style post features a relaxed denim look which will be ideal for walking around Disney during April and May. I've had to wear tights and a jacket with it in this Country as let's face it, it is still cold here. Roll on spring/summer.
All the clothes, accessories and chalkboard featured in the flatlay above are from Primark. The photo props are from the Disney Store which I can't wait to use whilst we are on holiday. There are 8 props in the box and you can get them here for £5.99, Disney Photo Props.
The boyfriend fit Minnie mouse T-shirt cost just £6 from Primark. It's a large oversized fit and therefore I managed to get it in a size 8. It'll be great to wear with a skirt or shorts too. You could even try dressing it up by wearing it with a midi skirt and heels.
The black dungaree dress is an old one from Dorothy Perkins. They are everywhere at the moment. In fact they had lots in Primark whilst I was there last week. This outfit would also look great with a blue denim dungaree dress (next on my wishlist).
Now for one of my favourite parts of the outfit, the shoes. These again were from Primark and were a bargain at £10. I'll fully admit that a lot of shoes I get from there aren't particularly comfortable but these ones were like wearing slippers. They were super comfy.
Featured above is the most amazing backpack. It's going to be great for Disney. I can use it as a bit of a grab and go bag leaving essentials in it such as drinks and snacks to keep us occupied whilst queueing for rides. This was also from Primark but you'll have to try and grab one quick as they are like gold dust to get hold of. I am ever so slightly in love with it and spend most of my time just staring at it rather than using it.
The Mickey and Minnie watch is also from Primark. You can see it on the flatlay at the top of the post.
I teamed it with a cropped black biker jacket which is a very old one of mine. They have lots of them in New Look at the moment in quite a few colours.
So there you have it. My first Disney inspired style post. Keep your eyes peeled for more coming soon and for now here is my rather excited i'm going to Disney and i'm wearing Disney clothes face, haha!
Eva is now 4 years old and most of her time spent playing with her toys is now based around imaginative and role play. Every toy becomes part of a wonderful story or situation she has made up in her head. Lots of the time these stories involve either myself or her daddy. In actual fact she favours playing toys with daddy over me, much to my anguish. Perhaps he's more enthusiastic than I am.
He loves it when she wants to build things or play with cars but also in reality he more often than not is playing with dolls, hosting tea parties, dressing up or putting on fashion shows with her much loved Barbies.
We were recently contacted by Mattel, the makers of Barbie, to see if we would like to take part in their #DadsWhoPlayBarbie campaign. The campaign aims to celebrate the magic of the father-daughter relationship and how time spent together in their imaginary world is an investment in her real world.
This campaign is supported by global research that found that strong male advocates empower girls, and that two thirds of UK dads believe that joining in their daughter's playtime helps build their self confidence.
We jumped at the chance to be involved. After all, daddy is always involved in playtime in our house and Eva relishes it.
Mattel kindly sent us a 'you can be anything box' which was filled with some of the new Barbie's and accessories from the 2017 range. This included a new career Barbie, Fashionista Barbie and a made to move Barbie. Eva was ecstatic.
I remember the Barbie's that I use to play with back in the 80's and early 90's. She had the typical tiny waist and perfectly proportioned hips and boobs and beautiful long blond hair. Well in reality most of us don't look like that. These new Barbies celebrate all shapes and sizes which is much more reflective of society today.
I adore the new career range. We were sent the scientist doll and I have already got my eye on the nurse. We were also sent the skateboarder Barbie from the made to move range. These dolls have 22 movable joints which makes them more flexible and gives a great range of motion. We were also sent a couple of dolls from the fashionista range. Each doll in this range has it's own unique style whether that's tres chic or boho. This again is a great reflection of society today.
These new Barbie ranges send such a positive message to our children. You can be whoever you want to be, look however you want and be comfortable and confident in your personality. This is definitely the same message that both hubby and I are trying to teach our girls.
I watched the two of them engaging in some imaginative play with the new dolls. Apparently they were at a talent show but some of them were too nervous to perform. Daddy managed to convince scientist Barbie that she could perform in-front of the crowd. Eva wasn't sold on this idea at first but after listening to Daddy's confidence boost talk (from one Barbie to the other), she was able to build up the courage.
This is exactly what the #DadsWhoPlayBarbie campaign is all about. Dads teaching kids to follow their dreams and to be right there beside them for support and motivation.
The video below is part of the campaign and shows 6 real dads playing Barbie.
What do you think about this campaign? We think it's great.
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