I had a pretty terrible birth last time and again I hadn't written a birth plan. Some people may argue this is exactly why I need to write one this time, but I think the fact that I didn't have one written, meant that I actually didn't feel let down or gutted that I didn't have the experience I wanted.
Due to the horrific birth I had last time, I am now consultant led. I have discussed the birth with him but I am going into it with an open mind. I have expressed that I would like to be in a birthing pool as long as possible but that is all i've said. In fact we're not even writing it down anywhere as I don't want to be disappointed if I can't go in it when the time comes.
I can see the pro's of physically writing down a birth plan. It'll help the midwife's know exactly what preferences you have for the whole time you are in labour and afterwards. It'll help me feel more in control of the whole experience and it would help keep me focused. I can write down what positions I want to be in, thoughts on pain relief, how exactly I want to birth etc! However, the way I see it is that it may not go according to plan.
I think the experience I had last time along with the fact that I work in healthcare (actually in an operating theatre) means that I know too much information. I'm never sure whether my healthcare knowledge is a good thing or a bad thing. I think the problem is I know what can go wrong, how quickly it can go wrong and when it's going wrong. There was no fooling me last time. I know why alarms are going off etc. I also think that my background allows me to put every faith into any decision a consultant will make and therefore that is why I don't want a birth plan set in stone. If they tell me to do something i'm not going to be silly and ignore it, i'm going to do it.
I am obviously hoping for a nice birth this time and despite what i've written, I am fairly positive that this will happen this time around. I am very open minded. I will be a lot stronger in myself last time and as far as i'm concerned I have no plan other than to go with the flow and do what is needed at the time. I am not against having anything or doing anything. What will be, will be.
Did you write a birth plan? If so did it all go the way you had planned it? Would you suggest that I wrote a few things down or not?
Wow can't believe you're now 36 weeks, so excited for you. I didn't write a birth plan with either of my last and haven't really thought about writing one this time. I made decisions about the injections after delivery and skin to skin etc. But actually getting the baby out I'm more of a 'the docs and midwifes are the experts I'll do whatever they say' kind of girl. Don't stress about it, baby usually dictates what happens anyway just try and go along with it. That said if there's something you really don't want make sure your birth partner knows. xx #twinklytuesday
ReplyDeleteI can understand why you haven't written a birth plan, I had a horrible birth with my eldest. With my last three I actually wrote bullet points and that was it however as I ended up with c-sections it was a bit different but I still wanted to feel in control. I think being open minded is the best way. Good luck, I hope you have a better experience this time x
ReplyDeleteI had a birth plan first time around and it ended up being very traumatic and i felt so dissapointed at not getting what i had planned. Second time around i didn't write one, i just wanted the pregnancy over and our little boy out safely and me ok. All i put was to be ready for an episiotomy, this was advised by my consultant. Good luck this time :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't write birth plans with any of my three. I had in my mind ideas of how I would like things to go, and I made my husband aware of how I was feeling about certain aspects. My first birth started off well but got complicated, so if I'd had a plan it would have been thrown out the window. My second and third were a lot more what I had in mind, but my whole attitude was take it as it comes and see what happens. I thought I'd want to be in the birth pool, but when it came to it, I really didn't want to be! I did a lot of pregnancy yoga and had a natal hypnotherapy CD and those were enough to help me feel calm and in control and confident in the decisions I was making, while listening to the medical advice too. I found certain things that worked for me in one labour, didn't work in the others.
ReplyDeleteI have a relative who worked in a busy maternity unit. Part of her job was dealing with complaint letters and she says the biggest source of complaints was people whose birth didn't go according to their plan. In a lot of cases, sticking to the plans would have put the mums and babies in danger, so I guess I always had that in my mind too.
Hope all goes well for you and not as traumatic as last time. I really recommend the natal hypnotherapy CD if you are feeling anxious. x
Completely agree with your plan to have a non-plan. Although this will be my first so some of my friends think I'm crazy for not having a plan together but, like you said, I'd rather go with the flow than expect some perfect birth and have my dreams crushed. I'm currently doing hypnobirthing classes which although sounds a bit "hippie," it's basically just taught me how to be calm, relaxed and confident in labour. Hopefully this helps but we'll see, have no idea! Thanks for sharing, it's nice to know other people feel the same way about their birth plans!
ReplyDeleteWhen I had my babies there wasn't birth plans but if there were I wouldn't have had one. I was a student nurse when I had my first. All I wanted was pain relief. The second didn't follow any rules, I wanted pain relief but it was a painless birth lol, really it was, had her on the front room floor. She made me wait nearly 3 weeks then came in an hour!
ReplyDeleteSecond babies are easier, I know you are scared but you know you are in good hands, just look to the moment you hold that baby in your arms. Best wishes xx
I didn't write a birth plan, my midwife pretty much told me that there was no point because it gets ignored most of the time and nothing goes to plan usually. I did want a water birth but she said instead of writing that down let my birthing partner know because they would need to tell them when they rang for me to be admitted.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I took her advice and didn't write one because a homebirth would not have been in my plan so she was right, it would have been a complete waste of time!
Not long to go now!! So excited for you :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't have a birth plan. Actually, that's not strictly true — I did — it was 'Get the babies out as quickly and as safely as possible. I don't care how!!'!!
Then I was told the twins were transverse and I needed a planned c-section, which took any necessity for a 'written' birth plan totally out of the equation.
I think it's better to go with the flow to be honest... if you have a set plan, that you feel uncomfortable deviating from, you'd probably be gutted if the birth didn't go the way you wanted. As long as the baby — and you — are safe, I think that's all that matters. Thanks for linking up with us on #TwinklyTuesday :)
I wrote one with my first baby, but don't think it even made it out of the bag we had packed it in! I didn't bother with babies two and three. But then I'm definitely more of a 'go with the flow' type person and my husband was well aware of how I wanted things to go. I can understand why some people would prefer to have their thoughts written down though.
ReplyDeleteNot long to go for you now. Wishing you all the best :)
I didn't write one for either baby, the way I see it is that the baby will be born and how that happens is totally irrelevant! All I ever said as long as my baby is safe I don't care how it comes out. However, if it makes you feel better having it written down then go for it.
ReplyDeleteWith both mine I had 48 hour labours after being induced and neither were straightforward but that wouldn't have changed if I had written some notes down... Just so what's best for you and baby and in a few weeks times you will have your little girl in your arms and you won't mind how she came out :-) xxxx
Heya! I'm at work browsing your blog from my new apple iphone!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say I love reading your blog and
look forward to all your posts! Carry on the superb work!