Saturday, 3 February 2018

Fantasyland: The Benefits and Pitfalls For Stressed Mums

“She’s just living in fantasyland,” is a statement that you’ll often hear about mums that have a lot on their plate. It usually means that their expectations are not in line with the practical realities of life. However, is living in a fantasy land always a bad thing when it comes to motherhood? Read on to find out.

Yes - you need to be practical.

Obviously, there are definitions of what the term fantasyland that we need to differentiate between here to get a meaningful answer to this question. In terms of it meaning that you are not present in your life and with your kids then yes it certainly can be a bad thing.

After all, they are only young once, and while it might feel like forever at the time, really it can be over pretty quickly. That is why you need to focus on the here and now and what they are doing today, rather than what they may end up doing in 20 years.

No - you need a break

Fantasyland can be a good thing for mums that need a little bit of light relief from stress and grind of parenthood though. There are many different ways to access this. Some folks read fantasy novels or watch box set on TV, while others immerse themselves in mobile games like Final Fantasy 15, once the kids are safely tucked up in bed for the night. Something that can provide a well-deserved break and an activity that isn't family orientated to think about for a while.

Yes - can put an unreasonable strain on kids and self

However, when fantasyland relates to unrealistic expectations that mums are putting on themselves or their kids then it's definitely a bad thing. After all, we are only human and so are our little ones. That means pushing them or ourselves to do things because we want perfection rather than progress is never a good idea.

Yes, lifestyle sites such as Pinterest can make it seem like everyone else has got it together and can easily fit in time for handmade crafts, home-cooked meals and all those other creative projects you see people doing. Just remember though, that if you are protecting and providing for your little ones you are doing a good job and no one expects you or the kids to be 100% perfect all of the time.

No - something that is just for you

Fantasyland isn't such a bad thing either if its a method of relaxation that you use to clear your mind and chill out despite the pressures of the day. For example, many people use guided meditations where they imagine themselves on a beach or in a forest when they have two or three spare minutes. An activity that can help them regain their equilibrium and make the rest of the day a lot easier to cope with.

In conclusion, fantasyland is only a bad thing if it relates to unrealistic expectations or a lack of presence. However, if it's done in a measured way, once the kids' needs have been seen to I can't see any harm in escaping for a moment or two.

*This is a collaborative post*

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